B.(Y).O.B.

Truth moment, mmmk? We've all been there. The days where we wake up from a horrible night's sleep, only to start our morning off, just straight rueing the concepts of marriage, romance, soul mates, lovers, etcetera. We've all flipped vigorously through the TV channels, pressing harshly on the remote buttons, trying desperately to avoid any and all sappy rom-coms, while simultaneously cursing the idea of love under our breath. We've mocked it. We've declared personal vendettas against it. We've written it off as pure fiction at one time or another... Until we're IN it. Until we... get it. Until we find a McDreamy or McHottie of our very own. Then, and only then is love... Like... Everything!

It's a harsh pill to swallow, but the truth is that many of us are quick to curse the idea of "being in love" when we're not the ones experiencing it first hand with a significant other (S.O.). Some of us get angry; some of us get highly irritated... And some of us just sink into the most undesirable depths of self-pity known to man (the ever-so-popular Woe Is Me complex).

Time to cut the shit and suck it up, buttercups! Let's put our big girl (or boy) britches on and get the heck on with life, shall we?! It's time to employ a new tactic. It's time for operation BYOB.

Decoded... BYOB = Be. Your. Own. Bae.

BYOB means: Stop moping and sulking about how tragic and lonely your singleton life has become, and instead - start embracing the unexpected gifts of awesome that you've been handed and have within you.

Off top, here are 10 essential reasons why you'd be a fool NOT to embrace operation BYOB:

1. Bed peace: No sheet sharing. No sheet stealing. No hot morning breath coming your way. That's right. You can starfish across the entire bed if you want. You can always have your side of the bed if you like. You can have uninterrupted sleep and not be woken up by your S.O. getting up at an ungodly hour. Aaaaaaahhh, the sweet life!        

2. Face off: Because putting on your face first thing in the AM just so your S.O. doesn't see you looking like the "before" in a before & after Proactiv commercial, is sooooo much fun, right? NOT! You can let your face breathe girl! Put down the concealer and tweezers. Ain't nobody checking for blackheads and acne while you're at home in your no-name brand jammy jams.

3. Just eat it: Cooking for two is cute. Sure. Cooking for one? Ummm, LEFTOVER HEAVEN?! "Who fucking ate the last chicken drumstick?"... Words you never ever have to utter when you're solo; unless you enjoy yelling at yourself.

4. Payless: Holiday season can already be a monetary bitch when only immediate family and friends are involved. Add in the pressure of having to sell an organ just to afford that perfect gift for your S.O.? Game over. Save your coin, bruhs and girls. One less gift for them equals one more gift for yourself. Winning!

5. No cosign: How many times have you gotten that call to go chill with your friends, but instead of readily accepting the invite, it's: "Hold on one sec... Babe!? Babe... You wanna go hang out with my friends tonight? ... No? You're too tired? Oh...ok. I guess I'll pass too." Ummm, No. You don't need to defer or postpone YOUR plans just because your S.O. won't cosign. Go out. Go now!

6. Eye spy: Yes, yes. I know. Going out to events and parties with someone on your arm is fun and gives you a sense of security. But uh, it also prohibits you from flirting with any number of other gorgeous specimens at these events. Solo-you is free to scope out the scene and get your sexy on. Why bring sand to the beach?

7. Double-tap dat: Along the same lines as the point above, a certain unwritten social media rule states that "thou shall not LIKE pics or FRIEND any people of the opposite sex while you're in a relationship". Bummer... Cause Solo-you can double tap (like) those hot Instagram models all night long, without repercussions from your boo. The Instagram gods are smiling down on Solo-you. Just accept it.

8. Splish splash: Your bathtub and toilet are more or less guaranteed to be in the same condition and position you left them in. Everyday. No surprises. No worries about toilet seats, razor stubble in the drain, and TP being wasted. Waaaaay up... You've been blessed.

9. Netflix & chill: No plans? No bae? No problem! After a loooong day/week at work, all you need are 3 things. Your Netflix. Your couch. And multiple back to back hours of binge watching in peace... Also known as "chill time". Enjoy this beautiful slice of heaven. Oh, and having your beverage of choice in hand while you Netflix? Cherry on top.

10. Run the world: Two words: BOOK IT! That trip to Australia that you always wanted to take? That resort in the Bahamas you wanted to check out? That 10-day backing trip through Europe that you've dreamed about for months? GO! DO! SEE! There's no need to wait for a S.O. to knock these wishes off your wish list. Traveling alone is not only exhilarating; it also allows you to set & abide by your own schedule , and makes you realize just how independent (and not so directionally-challenged) you can actually be when you don't have a partner to be your crutch. The world is huge and vast, and meant to be explored. You can always write home (or blog) about it if you really need to share the travel experience with someone.

There you have it ladies and gents. There is an awesome side to the single life. All you need to do is see your wine glass as half full instead of half empty.

Say it with me now: S-i-n-g-l-e: It's a noun. It's an adjective. It can even be a verb. What it is NOT, is a sentence. It's not a complete sentence (in other words - it shouldn't define you as a whole). And, it's not a life sentence (so, please stop tricking yourself into thinking it's meant to be a punishment).

I'd wager it's just the universe's way of giving you the time and opportunity to be selfish, with no strings attached.

And, if you're still not convinced, just know that somewhere out there, is an Ashley Madison client who would probably kill to be in your shoes right now.  K? Facts only.
 


Shaolin Says

Shaolin "J" Style

Ontario

Creative writer. Professional ranter. Canadian-born. Caribbean blood. Probably the worst introvert you'll ever meet.