congrats america: you played yo'self

I cheated myself, like I knew I would. I told ya I was trouble... You know that I’m no good.
— "You Know I'm No Good", the late great singer/songwriter Amy Winehouse

You know - I'm not going to sit here and proclaim to be any level of politically profound. I'm not ashamed to admit that up until 24 hours ago, I didn't even know what "GOP" meant. While my conscious disinterest in this year's US election process is not something to be totally proud of as a Canadian, I'm also quite glad that I didn't invest any sort of emotional or mental stock into the last 18 months of campaign chaos. Because idiots... idiots EVERYWHERE.

For the last year and a half, I have not actively engaged in the MTV "Real World"-esque Democrats vs Republican shit show that has played out in the media. Of course, it's been impossible to avoid the whole affair altogether, as social media tends to bring all absurd celebrity goings-ons right to the forefront. And Donald Trump, for all intents and purposes is just that: a celebrity. Anything he says and does is instant news/social media fodder - so in that way - I've sort of been forced to consume bits and pieces of the entire election battle between him and Hilary Clinton.

I knew from the jump that neither of these candidates were going to be a great choice for the American public, but given the stark contrast between the two - I foolishly thought it was a no-brainer. I thought to myself: as impulsive, self-involved and uber-patriotic as some of these Americans may be... they'll for sure know who the lesser of the two evils is between the front-runners of the election.

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GIF courtesy of

My. Fucking. Bad. For giving y'all the benefit of the doubt... I sincerely apologize. Cuz y'all... ooooh... 

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GIF courtesy of

Some of y'all are so far removed from reality that it's scary. With all the violence, racism, classicism, mass incarceration, and other nonsense going on in your "land of the free", America - you've got more than enough to deal with already. But nooooo - here you go, leaving the fate of your beloved country in the hands of someone who is unabashedly prejudice against almost literally EVERY marginalized group that makes up the United States. You've entrusted your future and the future of your kids in a rich, white man who couldn't give two shits about the lower or middle class. A person who has zero political skill, experience or acumen. A person who's main driver for the past few decades has simply been to make as much profit for himself as humanly possible. 

America - the fact that you've allowed this type of person to lead your country for the next four to eight years let's me know:

  1. Racism, sexism and hate on various levels is still extremely and dangerously present within the American population.
  2. The ability to see past a person's mistakes and appreciate their present intention is lost on you. (Yes, the Clinton administration fucked some shit up badly in the 90s, but at least they've acknowledged it and are prepared to attempt to repair some of the long lasting damage your country has suffered as a result.)
  3. The thought of an experienced, qualified woman running your country is far more threatening to you than having a male bigot run it to the ground.
  4. Your patriotic narcissism is so real and so rooted that you see no issue having a jackass be the voice and face of your country just because he is wealthy, white and male. Do you think his wealth will trickle down to you by osmosis now that you've voted him into office? Ever heard of "the rich get richer while the poor get poorer?"
  5. You are undoubtedly your own worst enemy, terrorists included. Some of y'all spend so much of your time and energy attacking, humiliating and criminalizing foreigners when in reality - you're the ones destroying your communities from the inside.

You've really shit the bed with this one, America. To go from a president like Barack Obama to a bottom-feeder like Trump in one foul swoop is really really sad.

I'm just glad I got in my visit to Brooklyn over the summer before y'all made this tragedy official. Setting foot on american soil is no longer something that appeals to me for the immediate future.

... Call me when Kanye officially announces his presidential candidacy for 2020. Cuz, bruh. We've already entered the Twilight Zone. Might as well go balls-deep into the bullshit.



Shaolin Says. 

Shaolin "J" Style


Creative writer. Professional ranter. Canadian-born. Caribbean blood. Probably the worst introvert you'll ever meet.