i have no words [...seriously].

… Your unconscious can’t work when you are breathing down its neck. You’ll sit there going, ‘Are you done in there yet, are you done in there yet?’ But it is trying to tell you nicely, ‘Shut up and go away.’
— Anne Lamott, American novelist, political activist, public speaker, and writing teacher

I knew it would happen eventually. There would come a point where I felt my back pressed up against a wall of creativity. There'd be a time where I'd have to humble myself and take stock of the fact that sometimes, writing nothing at all is better than writing empty words on a page... Shit.  Even writing this now feels very much like "filler", and for that I apologize. But at the same time, I've got to keep it one hundred.

For those of you who have been reading my stuff weekly, you might have noticed that I've been M.I.A. for the past two weeks. And it's not because I've suffered any sort of negative fate. Nor have I decided to quit this thing altogether. I've honestly just been busy, tired and most of all: void of inspiration. To put it another way, I think my well of words has temporarily run dry. And, on top of that, I've also been trying to sort through some other "life stuff"... thinking about what's next for me. 

As some of you know, I'm about three months into a new role at work; and while I'm really enjoying it – I'm cognizant of the fact this role has a very real expiry date. It was only supposed to be 'temporary', a one-year secondment. So, while I'm technically still in the beginning stages of this role, I'm already turning my mind to the end date and how I can leverage the opportunity I've been given. Whether personally or professionally, I'd like to build on my role as a creative, and that means figuring out how to "grow" my skills and experiences. I don't know if there will be a similar role for me (within my company) once this opportunity comes to an end; but what I do know is that I would prefer not to take a step backward into the role I had before this. 

So lately, I've just been trying to figure out the best use of my time that will improve my chances of keeping my career in the creative world "on track". Does it mean taking a course? Teaching myself a new skill? Figuring out how best to make some new contacts? I'm not sure. I've been racking my brain on what the best move is and I'm still undecided. It sometimes keeps me up at night. 

GIF courtesy of uproxx.files

GIF courtesy of uproxx.files

In any case, while I try to sort this stuff out and get a hold of my anxiety... I unfortunately can't guarantee that I'll be consistent in posting weekly content to my website. I've been slacking in some other areas of my life as well (physically and mentally), which has caused my creativity to suffer some.

Basically, I'm just in a personal slump right now. And as much as I hate to admit it (especially right around the holidays); I know that it can happen to the best of us. 

I definitely haven't been feeling like my "best self" of late and I'd rather not continue to feel overwhelmed by internal pressures that I'm inflicting on myself. So, for now... I'm going to take a step back from the commitment of my weekly blog posts and turn my focus to some self-care... whatever that looks like.

Thankfully, my job provides some built-in consecutive days of downtime around the holidays, so I'll be able to take the time I need to recharge and refocus my energies.

One thing I can promise though is that I haven't given up on this blog/website. You'll continue to hear from me. I can't guarantee that the format will stay the same, but I'll be around...

To end this post on a positive note, I've been binging on random YouTube videos lately. Check out a skit called "I'm a Mom Now" by YouTuber @FoxyHotMess. It's in my Video Vibe of the Week. It made me laugh so hard!

Wishing you all HAPPY HOLIDAYS and shit :)

GIF courtesy of media.giphy

GIF courtesy of media.giphy

 

Shaolin Says 

Shaolin "J" Style

Ontario

Creative writer. Professional ranter. Canadian-born. Caribbean blood. Probably the worst introvert you'll ever meet.